


RodDick and Co.

by Fotus_Konig



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV), Diary of a Wimpy Kid Series - Jeff Kinney
Genre: Dominant Masochism, Kinky, Masturbation, Multi, Orgy, Pegging
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-12 03:27:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29753346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fotus_Konig/pseuds/Fotus_Konig
Summary: i'm really so very incredibly truly honestly strongly meaningfully from the deepest of my heart, sorry
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3





	RodDick and Co.

**Author's Note:**

> -recommended by the average ao3 reader  
> -guaranteed cum during/after read (before if you're really skilled)  
> -I was, in fact, sober when I wrote this  
> -rodrick is so incredibly fucking hot rail me daddy  
> -if you think this fanfic was a joke, you know the answer in your heart  
> -if pedophilia wasn't "illegal" I'd've made greg rape manny and then they both die annoying pieces of flaming trash  
> -rodrick  
> -all instances of 'fuck' in this work of art are replaced with 'sex'  
> -rodrick  
> -another point: rodrick. rodrick's point. of his penis. in my ass. that is all.

On a bright, sunny day in the wonderful, awful universe that is Brooklyn 99/Diary of a Wimpy Kid, soft moans escaped from a college student's dorm room. This particular student's balls had grown to a massive size a few years ago after ingesting an incredibly old, moldy, eldritch **C** heese. They required milking at least twice a day, and the student required custom-made underwear to keep his phat nuts from dangling on the ground. As Uncle Ben once said, with massive testicles comes massive lower body pain.

'Ohhhhh, Mr. Boyle! AHHH! SEX! SEX, MR. BOYLE! OHH! YOU SEXY SEXING HUNK!' Rowley Jefferson lay in his top bunk in the dorm room, staring at his ceiling covered in photos covered with the detective's face. His mind was somewhere between reality and a daydream as he rubbed one out to the only person Rowley would ever love. He knew they could never be together, but his heart longed for his sweet sweet Charles. In the past, Rowley had taken photosof him from hiding places, figured out where Boyle lived, and even stolen used underwear from his apartment when he wasn't home. He felt like he knew everything about the man, inside and out. 

'SEX! SEX, SEX, SEX SEX SEEEEX! OH, CHARLES! HOLD ME!' he groaned out as he started quickening his hand movements. Images flashed through Rowley's mind: Boyle's face, his huge six-pack, what must've been an enormous, 8 inch package, and many more. Rowley started thrashing in his bed, almost at the brink. 'SEX ME IN THE ASS, BOYLE! ARGHGHHGH!' His cock pulsed, then throbbed, then shot out a load hard enough to punch a 2 inch hole in the ceiling above him. He'd have to pay the damages for that. 

As drywall rained down upon his body, Rowley stared deep into the eyes of one of his Boyle creep shots. They seemed to go on forever, those eyes. He could imagine getting lost in them, and waking up next to the real person, live and in the flesh. That would truly be the dream.

Rowley Jefferson was expelled from Brooklyn College for public nudity, a pile of noise complaints, and 2 accounts of public masturbation on October 24, 2018.

**~~**

Rodrick Heffley pounded his thick cock deep inside of some tight asshole, letting out small grunts occasionally. Underneath him, Rosa Diaz let out a soft stream of steady cussing. This, sexy, sexy man knew exactly how to use his perfect meat to pleasure a woman- and a man.

Rodrick, like Rosa, was a raging bisexual. After being in denial for over 3 years, Rodrick had finally accepted that the perfect sex god would have to be available to both genders. He had mastered domming, subbing, topping, bottoming, and everything in between. After graduating from Sex University 3 years ago, he had (literally) kissed his band away to become a male hooker. Rodrick had rised through the ranks of prostitution, gaining respect and popularity along the way. Popularity that had attracted the eye of a certain detective in the 99th Brooklyn Police District. Rosa had walked up to him on the street as he was leaving his other part time job as a stripper, and handed him a fat wad of cash.

'Horny. Sex. Come. Now.'

And who was Rodrick to turn down an enthusiastic customer?

'Hmmmphhhhghh,' groaned Rodrick as precum leaked from his dick into Rosa's anal caverns.

'Sex...,' she moaned. 

Rodrick grunted one more time as he cummed deep inside of her, pushing his cock far inside with all his might. For a couple hundo, he wanted to make sure the detective had the best experience. As he disengaged his sloppy penis from her anus, he spread out on the bed and panted heavily. Suddenly, Rosa shot up from the bed. Rodrick was pretty sure she was just going to take a shower, so he stayed eagle-spread on the mattress. Then, he heard a clicking sound before a second brick of money landed on his chest. He lifted his head and saw a huge strap-on, at least 9 inches.

'C'mon, pretty boy. We're not done until I _say_ we're done.'

Laughing to himself, Rodrick let himself get flipped over as his cheeks got slapped and spread. Pegging had always been an exciting endeavor for him. He felt the soft, cold lube tickle his tight bussy, before hard plastic teased at it.

'GAAAAHH!' he screamed as the giant thing pushed its way in. He still wasn't quite used to the feeling.

In spite of himself, Rodrick grinned one more time. He'd _definitely_ have to re-apply his eyeliner after this.

**~~**

'Hop in,' Greg's dad said, spreading out the blankets on his king-sized mattress. His wife was out of town, so he was going to treat himself to some sneaky sex. Susan thought she was the only one who got Greg's dad's wild sex trips, but she was wildly incorrect. Greg's dad loved dominating pretty boys, buff men, and middle-aged women. Today, he had stumbled across a perfect man for the second category: huge, but also tender and gentle. He had grabbed the man by the shoulder, given him 'The Look', and hauled him back home. The man made no effort to struggle and resist, and seemed a bit awestruck by the passionate DILF.

'Gee, Greg's dad, you got wild eyes. Did anyone ever tell you that?' asked the buff guy.

'I got wild eyes, ya see, cause I do wild things,' said Greg's dad, licking his lips. 'What's your name, kid?'

'T-terry.'

'All right, Terry. I want you to strip down naked and get on the bed, belly down, and wait for my instructions.

Terry hesitantly obeyed, then laid on the soft mattress, showing off his marvelous ass. Greg's dad licked his lips again.

'Alright, kiddo, I'm a kinky guy. I'm gonna do some kinky stuff to you and your spectacular bod. And you? You're gonna lie there like a champ and take it. And if you don't, I'm gonna have to punish you. Hard. Understand?

'Y-yes.'

'Yes _sir_.'

Y-yes sir,' Terry was sweating profusely, and his heart was racing. Suddenly, he jumped. There were wet, slurpy sounds coming from behind him, and a tickly feeling at his perfectly groomed butthole. Terry stretched his neck behind him to see Greg's dad, with an naturally long tongue, rimming him over and over. The detective wanted to burst out of the room after seeing that tongue and those crazy eyes, but what was happening downstairs so good. He let out a little moan. Immediately, the licking stopped.

'NO!' said Greg's dad. 'NO NO NO NO! BAD BOY! VERY NAUGHTY! NO NOISE! NOW I NEED TO PUNISH YOU!' Spittle flew from his mouth and landed on the bed in tiny specks. Greg's dad disappeared into a closet for a moment, then came out holding something that looked like an industrial-size fly swatter.

'FOR SUCH A NAUGHTY, NAUGHTY THING TO DO, I THINK THAT MERITS FIVE HUNDRED SPANKINGS! BAD, BAD BOY!' Greg's dad was going absolutely bonkers, and his eyes bore portals into dimensions of insanity and lust.

Terry wasn't sure if he heard right. Five hundred? He decided he'd get out of there before things got _too_ kinky, too fast. As he pulled himself up, he realized ropes held his limbs and torso down. When had those appeared. Struggle as he may, Terry had no chance at-

WHAP!

'One.'

Terry let out a scream, uncharacteristacally high. He'd been shot, tasered, and pepper sprayed, but nothing had hurt as badly as that did. 'STOP. PLEASE STOP! I CAN'T DO 10 OF THESE, NEVERTHELESS HOW MANY YOU WANT TO DO. PLEASE, GREG'S DAD'

Greg's dad walked around to the front of the bed and lifted Terry's chin with the handle of the flyswatter. 'Insubordination. Another 500.'

Terry tried to object, but was cut off when he realized Greg's dad was wearing nothing but a diaper and velvet stockings. What went through this man's mind?

WHAP!

'Two.'

Terry groaned slightly but tried to hold it in. He didn't want to add to his time. After all, he was in the for the long haul, and his dog days were coming up.

**~~**

WHAP!

'One thousand two hundred and forty-nine.'

WHAP!

'One thousand two hundred and fifty. You're free to go.'

It had been close to 8 hours, but Terry was finally free. He had gotten an extra 250 tacked on for crying out too loud, and shut himself up after that. Returning to the matter hand, he tried to get off the bed where his restraints had loosened mysteriously as they appeared. However, the slightest movement sent shockwave after shockwave of pain through his ass. He delicately touched a hand back there, feeling excruciating agony from the lightest touch. He wanted to flee Greg's dad's house, but he feared it would be a long time before he would be blessed by such a favor.


End file.
